A Message From Grandma

I was carrying a tub of sugar packets down the church hallway when my mind took me back fifteen years. As I walked toward the kitchen to refill the almost empty tub, I could hear my grandma’s voice, “I’ve got to go get the sugar.”

It was December of 2003, and I was Christmas caroling with my church. One of the places we visited was the Alzheimer’s wing of the nursing home where my grandma was.

While we were singing, I saw a nurse walking toward me with Grandma. The nurse didn’t know that I was a relative, and Grandma hadn’t recognized anyone for a very long time.

She told me she loved to hear me sing. Then she looked up, right into my eyes and said, “I want you to do what God tells you to do.”

“I will, Grandma,” I replied.

I can still see her face as she stared so intently into my eyes and spoke again, “I want you to do what he says.”

Again, I replied, “I will Grandma.”

Then she said, “You know I love you. Don’t you?”

“Yes, Grandma. I love you too,” I answered. I kissed her forehead.

Then she walked away saying, “Now I’ve got to go get the sugar.” And then she was gone.

This encounter with Grandma happened just after I had been invited to travel to Panama with Samaritan’s Purse to distribute shoe box gifts for Operation Christmas Child. I wasn’t sure at first if I would accept. It was a very tough decision, and I was scared about a lot of different things.

I was a stay at home mom of four children ranging from 3-12 years old. I wasn’t sure anyone would be able to transport the older kids to school or to babysit the younger ones while my husband worked. My mother-in-law was very sick. Furthermore, I was scared of flying and had said that I would not ever fly unless God asked me to (I just didn’t expect him to ask). I didn’t know how we’d come up with the money or how my husband would feel about it. I also had some health issues that sometimes made it difficult to travel…. Would God take care of me if I went on the trip? Would God take care of my family while I was away? Dare I even leave them?

I knew that this was a calling from God (another great story for another day). I had accepted this rare opportunity, but I was still anxious about all the details. This was a huge leap of faith at the time, and I had a lot of fears.

However, I had grown up admiring my grandma more than anyone. I had never heard her speak an unkind word, and she was probably the closest example of Jesus that I had ever known. So, for these words to come from her at an unexpected time when she didn’t even remember me… It was like God speaking to me through her. It was like God confirming to me that I needed to simply do what he asked and that he would take care of the rest, which in fact, he did (but again, that is another great story for another day).

Grandma went to be with Jesus just 2 months later, and I went on my trip before she died. I still find it incredible that even though my grandma’s mind had deteriorated to the point that she didn’t know her family, doing God’s will and encouraging others to do the same remained important to her.

For some reason, I always thought that when she walked away from me to “go get the sugar,” she was “taking care of the people” in the little country church she had attended years before. And here I was, doing the same at my church.

As I filled my tub with sugar packets, I remembered Grandma. I thought about how much she loved me, how much she loved everyone and how she loved Jesus even more. She served with love and was used by God until he called her home.

As I get older, my mind forgets so much, but I hope that as I continue to grow old, I will become more like Grandma. Lord, let me always love and serve those around me and most of all, let me always love and serve you. May I never forget your love for me. May I never forget you. May I always be your willing vessel and continue to love and to serve until the day you call me home. Mold me to be like Grandma. Mold me to be like Jesus.