Category: Love

It Is A Big Deal

Posted on by Paula
It is a big deal! The scarf my friend made for me is like a big hug that makes me feel special and loved.
It is a big deal! The scarf my friend made for me is like a big hug that makes me feel special and loved.

“Oh, but it is a big deal!” I replied. I had recently found out that my friend was moving out of state. A few days later, she handed me a gift bag while volunteering with me at church. “This is your Christmas gift from me. You can open it now or you can wait until Christmas.” Though it was only August, I chose to open it while my friend was still here.

Inside was a colorful, handmade scarf. “It’s beautiful! You’re going to make me cry! Thank you so much!” I exclaimed.

“It’s no big deal,” she replied.

“Oh, but it is a big deal!” I responded as she walked away.

What my friend didn’t know is that I didn’t feel well that morning but had made myself leave the house. She had no idea of the struggles I had before walking out the door. She had no clue that I really love when someone gives me a scarf or blanket.

When I wrap myself up in a scarf or blanket I’ve been given, I think of the person who gave it to me and I feel like I am wrapped up in a big hug from them. It makes me feel special, it makes me feel loved, and it is a big deal to me.

It’s also a big deal to me that someone took the time to choose the perfect colors and to crochet so many stitches…for me! This particular scarf is made of many different colors, meaning my friend purchased multiple skeins of yarn. Then she used one color for many, many stitches before switching colors several more times to create a beautiful and colorful pattern.

It’s not a big deal? Maybe crocheting is easy for my friend, but I am unable to crochet (except for the one giant granny square I made into a blanket but no longer remember how). Maybe my friend enjoys crocheting and passing the time creating scarves and blankets. Still, she used that time for me.

There is no doubt in my mind that this scarf was created with love. The gift was an act of kindness. I didn’t do anything to deserve it; I was totally surprised, and it is a big deal to me.

We do not always know the impact that our seemingly small acts of kindness may truly have on the recipient, but God has a way of working through His people to bless others. When we help someone with a flat tire, explain how to work an algebraic equation, take someone a meal, make a gift, send a card, listen over the phone… it may seem like a small offering to us. It may even seem to us like, “It’s no big deal,” but sometimes for the recipient, “It is a big deal.”

We can never be totally aware of everything that is happening in a person’s life. We may not know all of their struggles. But God knows, and God can take our seemingly small offerings to show others they are loved. Sometimes, He even uses those offerings as a way to show someone that He hears them, He sees them and He loves them.

So, keep extending kindness. Reach out a helping hand. Continue letting God pour His love through you. Somebody needs to know you care. Somebody needs to know He cares. And to somebody, “It is a big deal.”

Love is in the Air

Posted on by Paula

I opened my mailbox and found an envelope from my nephew who was just 4 years old at the time. Inside was a Valentine that he had signed all by himself. My heart melted; I couldn’t believe he had thought of me. This small piece of paper totally made my day and made me feel loved.

Once again, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and love is in the air. February 14th is probably the biggest day of the year for giving and receiving cards, flowers and chocolates. These gifts are wonderful, but even greater than the gift is the love that motivates the giver and the love returned by the recipient. Everyone wants to be and needs to be loved.

Think about all of the people who have shown you love throughout your lifetime and all the people you have loved. As great as that love is, there is a love that is even greater.

Love comes from God, and his love is the purest, greatest, deepest love that we will ever experience. It is an unconditional love expressed not because we deserve it or because there is anything lovable about us. It’s a love that is given even if there is no love returned. It’s the love of a God who knew there was no other way to take away our sin and bring us back into a relationship with him than to die in our place.

Romans 5:8 explains,

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I pray that as we celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, the eyes to our hearts will be open to understand how much God loves us, how much we need him and how urgent it is that we share his love with those who haven’t yet grasped it. For those of us who belong to Jesus, I pray that others would see his love through us as we allow him to fill us and transform us to be more and more like him.

Yes, love is in the air. Have you let God’s love into your heart? If so, then look for people who you can share that love with. There are people all around you who need to know that they are loved.

“We love because he first loved us.” ~John 4:19

Making Preparations for Family

Posted on by Paula

With one son in college and another living over 1000 miles away, we don’t get to see each other often, but by the end of the week, all four of my children will be home for a visit. One of my sons will drive an hour; another will fly about 2 ½ hours. I am excited to have them all here, but I also have a lot of preparations to make before they arrive. I need to clean the house, shop for their favorite foods and put fresh sheets on the beds. I also need to stay on task in the office so that I won’t have to work late the week that they are home. I want to make sure I get all of the necessary preparations finished before they arrive so that we can enjoy as much time together as possible.

When I was making a to do list to ensure that I get everything done, the words of Jesus recorded in John 14:1-6 popped into my head,

’Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.’ Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’

As I was deciding what preparations I needed to make before my kids come home, I wondered to myself, “What preparations could Jesus be talking about making before he takes us home with him?” I had always thought about him sort of decorating my room just how I’d like it, but that didn’t exactly make sense to me when I thought about how he simply spoke the world into existence.

Jesus had just washed the disciples’ feet, eaten his last supper with them, revealed to them that one of them would betray him and told them that he was going somewhere that they could not go. He even said that Peter would deny him.

Knowing that these things troubled the disciples, Jesus spoke words to comfort them. He assured them that his going away was for their good. You see, we are all sinners. Sin separates us from God, and the penalty for sin is death. Jesus, who lived a sinless life, died on the cross and shed his blood to pay for our sin. This sacrifice is a gift to all who believe and put their trust in him. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through him.

By going to the cross, Jesus was preparing the way for us to spend eternity with him in heaven where God has plenty of room for his large family to dwell forever. The work is done. Jesus has gone to the cross to prepare the way for eternal life in heaven. Someday, those of us who believe and put our trust in him will be home.

Celebrating 30 Years of Love

Posted on by Paula

I was 19, and he was almost 23. We hadn’t even known each other a year. We met in the middle of January, were engaged in May and married at the beginning of November in 1987. We couldn’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. We were in love.

Life was an exciting adventure in the beginning. However, we quickly found out that there were a lot of things we didn’t know about each other. In fact, we discovered that we were pretty different and really didn’t have much in common. We even learned that the person who we married wasn’t perfect.

We didn’t truly understand when we first got married, what it really means to have Jesus at the center of our individual lives and at the center of our marriage. Because of this, we struggled and fought for a long time. The only reason that we have made it through 30 years of marriage is that we have stayed committed to God and to each other.

As we grew closer to God over the years, we also grew closer to each other. God taught us to love each other with the same love that Jesus loves us with, and that has made all the difference. The love of Jesus is a love that isn’t dependent on whether or not the recipient is lovable or worthy. It is a selfless love that comes from obedience to God’s commands. Some of Jesus’ last words to his disciples before dying on the cross were, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12-13). We are to love with the love of Christ regardless of the other person’s behavior. Learning this truth has made a huge difference.

Over the past 30 years, we have experienced many happy times, but there have also been some times of differences & struggles. I am thankful not only for the good times but also for the bad because it was the difficult times that brought us closer together and taught us what true love is.

Today I am thankful for a husband who has stayed committed to me through my good, my bad & my ugly. I love Sam even more than I did 30 years ago when I thought my love for him was complete but didn’t truly understand the depth of love that is possible through Jesus. I am also thankful for a God, who taught us that “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

God has blessed us over the years in ways far greater than we could ever have asked or imagined. We have been blessed with good career and ministry opportunities and four of the most amazing children in the world. He has always blessed us with more than we need and far more than we deserve. Our greatest blessing of all is Jesus and his unconditional love.

What 50 Years of Love Can Do

Posted on by Paula
Mom as Homecoming Queen Dancing With Dad

I sifted through the photos, and my daughter used them to make decorations. One of the photos I came across was a precious picture of Mom and Dad dancing when Mom was crowned homecoming queen. Jessica captioned it with, “Dance like no one is watching; it’s just you and me.” That’s how it started—just the two of them, probably not realizing that they were being watched by those around them. Over the years, however, they were making an impact. Mom and Dad showed me and many others what true love is.

The homecoming queen graduated and got married. Her husband was drafted into the army, and then he left for boot camp. He was allowed a short trip home when his first daughter (That would be me!) was born. Then he was sent to Vietnam. It must have been hard on the young couple to be separated, especially with a new baby. They weathered the storm by exchanging letters and photos and praying a lot of prayers as God took care of them until Dad’s time of service ended. Within a few years of dad coming home, their family grew to five with two active daughters and a very busy son. Dad worked hard at the car lot while Mom worked hard at home.

Vietnam wasn’t the only difficulty that would arise in their life together. Before Mom was even 30, she lost her own mom to cancer. She took care of Grandma while also trying to take care of three little kids. Mom battled cancer herself 15 years ago, and Dad has spent his share of time in the hospital over the past couple of years. Of course, we three kids and ten grandkids have given them several challenges over the years as well. They have definitely experienced what it meant when they vowed, “for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” While Mom and Dad did what they needed to do to take care of us through whatever life brought, they were teaching us what true love is, whether they realized it or not.

As Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary approached this year, my siblings and I worked together with our spouses and children on planning a celebration. As I worked on decorations and refreshments in the evenings, I thought of the times in my childhood that I’d wake up in the middle of the night to see Mom decorating our birthday cakes. I also remembered how Mom always made sure that we had a special outfit for Easter Sunday and the Christmas programs. There were many times that Mom sat at the sewing machine while everyone else slept. She was up into the wee hours of the morning sometimes, putting the finishing touches on our new clothes that people would always compliment us on when they saw us the next day. I can also remember dad working hard after hours with customers but always coming home to see us over lunch and also finding time to spend his coffee break with us at the Fischer’s Hi-Boy down the road from the car lot. Mom and Dad worked hard, but they always made time for what was important, and we kids felt loved.

Dad and Mom taught us that time was way more important than money. Mom didn’t have a job outside the home to bring in extra income when we were young. Instead, she chose to spend as much time as she could, pouring into her children and home. Because she was home, we always had delicious home-cooked meals and often had fresh baked cookies waiting for us when we got home from school. She always had time to listen and also took time to read to us, help us with homework and play with us. She found time to lead my Girl Scout troop, teach Vacation Bible School and help us learn the importance of serving as she towed us around while she delivered Meals on Wheels to the elderly.

Being a single-income home meant that my parents also had to budget differently than households where both parents worked. They taught us kids to spend our money wisely. Investing in people was more important than investing in things. The memories we made going on our yearly family vacations, trips to fair and visits to the zoo are the happiest of memories. I remember riding the Scrambler with my dad, holding my mom’s hand at the zoo while a balloon with a picture of a chimpanzee was tied around my wrist, riding through the mountains of Tennessee in our 1964 red Rambler and watching the movie from the back seat at the drive inn and eating the popcorn mom had popped, but I couldn’t tell you what brand of blue jeans or tennis shoes I wore. I just know that I always had nice, clean clothes that fit, plenty of food and never lacked for anything. I felt safe and loved. Mom and Dad knew what was the most important.

We kids definitely learned from Mom and Dad that spending time together is important. We always ate our meals together around the table. They taught us to give thanks to God before eating, and then we always talked and laughed as we ate. My sister and I often spent extra quality time sitting together at the table and staring at our cold food if there was broccoli or creamed corn, but that too created some happy memories.

Dad and Mom also taught us patience by their own example. One of dad’s favorite things to do was to fish, and he often took us kids out in the boat. Dad would watch us cast our line and tell us to wait until we felt a fish tug or until we saw our bobber go under. However we would get impatient and reel it back in if we didn’t get a bite right away. Repeatedly casting and reeling our line in of course caused us to lose our bait, and Dad would spend most of his time helping us bait our hooks rather than catching the monster fish he was after. I was also very good at casting my bait into the trees on the bank. Over and over, Dad would troll to the shore to retrieve my hook from the tree. Shortly after, my sister would snag something under the water, and dad would have to help her break free as well. Then someone would whine that they needed to go to the bathroom or ask if they could dangle their feet over the edge. Through it all, Dad remained patient and somehow never lost his temper.

Mom’s patience was tested as well while we kids created messes, got into arguments and complained that we were bored with nothing to do. On top of all the shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning and sewing, she also patiently taught us responsibility. It would have been much faster for Mom to clean up all of our messes and separate us when we fought, but she wanted us to become responsible adults. The simple chores that she started us with such as picking up our toys, doing the dishes or dusting could take us hours as we complained, piddled around or got distracted playing, but Mom would persist in making sure we got it done rather than giving into our whining and doing it for us. She also taught us to work out our differences with each other along the way so that we would understand how to work out our differences with other people. This took a lot more time and patience than simply breaking up our fights and punishing us so that we’d get along. I’m sure there were days that she was so frustrated with our lack of cooperation, but she patiently helped us to grow and mature.

Of all the things that my parents taught us through their example, the most important one was how to follow Jesus. Mom and Dad took us to church every Sunday. Dad was a deacon and Mom volunteered with communion, the ladies’ ministry and the children. Some of my sweetest memories of my dad are the times that I walked in and catch him reading his Bible. My mom taught me the importance of praying and sharing my struggles with the One who could fix it. They taught us right and wrong and set the example themselves of how to live out what we knew in our heads.

Just as we kids were looking to Mom and Dad, others were looking to them as well. Mom and Dad always put others first. They were parents not just to us, but to our friends. Mom got help for one of my friends who was in an abusive home and hugged on my friends who needed it. Dad gave people rides across town and gave money for gasoline, groceries and medicine when people were short on cash. They let people come in to use the phone, listened to their problems, took meals, helped watch others’ kids and helped with repairs. I remember one winter when Dad even gave away his only coat away because someone else didn’t have one.

So, yesterday, when we surprised Mom and Dad with a celebration for their 50th wedding anniversary the was room filled with too many people to count. Still it was only a fraction of the lives they touched over the years. Sadly, we couldn’t invite every single one of their friends and family because we just couldn’t have fit them into the building. So many people told us how special Mom and Dad are and that they wouldn’t miss their celebration for anything. Over their 50 years together, my parents have touched the lives of many, many people, but especially mine. I am so thankful that God blessed me with such wonderful parents, and I am proud to be their daughter. My prayer for them yesterday was that they would feel special and loved as friends and family came to celebrate, and my prayer for them today is that God will continue to bless them in ways bigger than they could ask or imagine. I have truly been blessed with the best parents in the world!

Mom and Dad’s Family Today

A Time of Rest

Posted on by Paula

“I started sorting things out with God and getting serious about some of the things He’d been putting on my heart over the past several years. Most of those things boil down to taking care of myself. The problem is, I have always tried to cram way more things into my day than I have time for. So, taking care of myself wasn’t the priority. However, if the Holy Spirit dwells in my body and I am to offer my body as a living sacrifice, I need to take care of it.” I wrote those words in my very first blog post, “A Season of Gray Hairs and Discipline.”

Beginning January 1 this year, I had made it a priority to take care of myself and find balance. I was tired of my mess and was ready to get serious about the things that God had been convicting me about for far too long. I’d been doing really well with my endeavor, but at the 6 month point my balance was a little off again, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it. A few things in life changed (as they always do) and my routine needed to adapt to these changes as well. However, I was so caught up in “staying afloat” that I couldn’t find time to figure out a solution.

Luckily, we were scheduled to leave for vacation at the end of June, but things got worse the week before with all the preparations that needed taken care of.  In order to take my break, I had to not only keep up with my day-to-day responsibilities, but also work ahead to take care of bills and such that would need my attention before we returned. I got up early each morning to take care of a few things, used my lunch break for errands and laundry and then came home from the office to take care of more responsibilities, finally going to bed late.

I had been looking forward to hiding away, resting and letting God unclutter my mind and untangle my heart. Every year, my family plans an escape where we can shut everything out for a week. I was so ready to for a reset and could hardly wait to reach our destination and sort things out with God.

Our drive should have taken about 14 hours but took over 18 due to traffic. I slept almost the entire drive and also slept through the night. I was even more tired than I thought.

I had a lovely, relaxing week away. I enjoyed early morning walks/runs with my girls followed by coffee and Bible study under the coconut trees with God. I listened to the tide rolling in and out and the birds singing in the trees. I basked in the warm sun and gentle ocean breeze. I walked along the shore, searched for seashells and delighted in the hot sand under my feet. I was entertained by the little crabs that scurried about and by the manatee that I followed for about a mile before it disappeared.

Sometimes I’d think, sometimes I’d pray and sometimes I’d let the roar of the ocean drown everything out. No worries. No problem solving. Simply enjoying the peace and resting.

Because of God’s perfect timing, I found myself in the book of Judges on vacation. God’s people seemed to be caught in a vicious cycle. They would follow God and receive his blessing, but then they would stray. They’d forget the great things God had done, but God wouldn’t forget his covenant with them. Because he loved them, he would discipline them so they would return to him and obey.

So, there I was at a point in my life when I had “forgotten” my strong commitment to get serious and obey what God had been putting on my heart for so long. I was still seeking God each day, but at the same time, I was neglecting to fix the things that were throwing me off the track he had put me on. When we start to veer just a little bit, we are in a dangerous place because if we continue to veer, we will be pulled farther and farther from where God wants us to be. Thankfully, God was waiting with his love, mercy and grace, ready to help me get back on track. I just needed to stop and get away from the noise a while so that I could see the root of the problem and nip it in the bud.

During my break, God pointed out to me a few different things that I needed to address. As funny as it may seem, I realized once again that my biggest problem was not getting enough rest. It seems that when I have a lot I want to accomplish, I should tackle the list and conquer as much as possible each day to get things done. However, not getting enough rest was really throwing my life out of balance, and unfortunately the things that were getting pushed aside were the most important.

As we were driving home, a Third Day song started playing,

“How many times have I turned away?

The number is the same as the sand on the shore

But every time You’ve taken me back

And now, I pray You do it once more

Please, take from me my life

When I don’t have the strength

To give it away to You

Please, take from me my life

When I don’t have the strength

To give it away to You, Jesus.”

 My turning away has gotten less and less over the years, but I want to be at the point where I never turn away. I want to be 100% obedient. Not my will but his will.

So here I am, back to reality. The pace must pick up again, and I will be pulled in several directions. The messages about problems that need dealt with are waiting. The refrigerator is empty. The bills and laundry are accumulating again. But, I am refreshed. My focus is where it needs to be. I am at peace. God is faithful, and is ready to woo me back if I start to get off track.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Amen!

Make a Lasting Impact

Posted on by Paula

 

Photo Credits to Abigail Barr

 

Photo Credit:
Abigail Barr

Daisies are my favorite flower. I can’t remember how long ago Christopher planted the daisy seeds in our yard, but I know it has been at least 3 or 4 years if not more. The daisies he planted have always been special to me, but seeing them bloom is even more meaningful now that he has moved more than 1000 miles away. This year, he just happened to be home for a visit when the first daisy of the season bloomed. He cut it for me and selected a vase. He is back in Florida now, but more and more daisies are opening up and will most likely put on a beautiful show until autumn creeps back in. Though he is so far way, his daisies have made a lasting impact and continue to bring me joy and remind me of his thoughtfulness.

I was admiring the daisies this morning and also remembered a day about 5 years ago when Christopher and his brothers surprised me by setting an aquarium up in my living room while I was at work. They used cold water straight from the garden hose and plopped two white fish named Mom & Dad into the water which was full of chlorine. Needless to say the fish did not make it, and the Facebook world was saddened (and somebody got in trouble) that evening when my son Joshua posted, “Dad died today.” The following day, they removed the chlorine and heated the water and filled the tank with gravel, decorations and colorful cichlids. Today we continue to be entertained by the fish including a few that we have watched grow for the past five years.

My little flower garden in the back yard is also a project that Christopher started for me. I missed my flower beds when we moved to town, but we have a very tiny yard now, and my husband Sam wasn’t too sure about giving up space for a flower bed that would probably become overrun with weeds with my hectic schedule. Christopher got the boys together and bought me a fountain and two pretty strings of lights. He also talked his dad into letting me have a small garden. He and the boys have helped me add to it each year, and I think of them while I enjoy taking care of my little flower bed or relaxing outside and listening to the water from the fountain trickle.

There are other pieces of artwork and projects around the house that remind me of Christopher’s thoughtfulness, and I feel his love even though he isn’t here. There are also things around that house that my other children, my husband, my parents, my siblings, my nieces and nephews and my friends have left for me and projects that they have helped me with that bring back happy memories and make me feel loved. There are even things around my house that still allow me to feel the love of people who are no longer on this earth. There is my grandma’s typewriter that reminds me of all the times I sat in her lap and got to type or draw pictures of trees with birds and nests. There is the afghan she crocheted for me even though she questioned the colors when I chose them. She admitted when she was finished that she liked the colors together, and though Grandma passed away years ago, I can remember those conversations and watching her crochet and can feel her hug as I wrap myself in the blanket.

As I was thinking about all of these things that make me feel happy and loved, I wondered to myself, “What have I done that might have made a lasting impression on someone else?” Have I helped with projects or left things behind that reminds someone else of happy memories and how much I love them? Have I left behind anything that will help someone continue to feel my love when this life on earth is over? Most importantly, have I helped anyone to realize how awesome Jesus is and how much they need Him? Praying for others and sharing Jesus with them is the very best gift I have to give. I hope that many of the seeds I have planted will be watered and that God will make them grow so that others will have a gift that lasts long after I am gone. I hope that others can experience the love of Jesus through my life and that they will accept him and have the gift of eternal life through Him.

 

Do You Love Me More? Part 2

Posted on by Paula

They didn’t want to move over a thousand miles away from family, but that is what Jesus asked them to do, and they love Jesus more. They love him enough to sacrifice being here with us. I didn’t want to let them move so far away, but that is what Jesus asked me to do, and I love Jesus more. I love Jesus enough to let them go.

Leaving Christopher and Cassie at their new duplex on June 28, 2016 was so much different than dropping Christopher off at college where I knew he would come home most weekends and every holiday. We left them in a place where they knew no one and where they couldn’t come home unless they drove for two days or had money to fly. We left them in a place too far away for us to help them if they had a problem. It seemed like we were leaving them a million miles away.

Because of the distance, the way we support each other and love each other must sometimes be accomplished with a little bit of extra thought and creativity. We have learned that via FaceTime, big brothers can still teach their little brothers how to tie a bow  tie for their first homecoming. We can even have dinner “together” any night of the week via FaceTime as well. We have found that even though it isn’t possible for our son and daughter-in-law to take a lot of Christmas gifts home on an airplane, we can still order gifts online and ship them directly to their home. We can even print pictures of those gifts and wrap the pictures so that they have something to open here on Christmas morning. Because of the distance, I can no longer cut my son’s hair each month as I loved to do, but I was able to teach my daughter-in-law so that she can. We can send lots of pictures, videos and audio clips back and forth to share special moments when we can’t be together. I can pray for God to put people in their lives to physically help them when we aren’t there. I may not be able to attend every concert as I had planned, but I can support Christopher, Cassie and their students through prayer, donations and volunteering when possible. We have also learned to make the most of every minute when we are together because it might be months before our next visit. Most of all, I am learning to let go of my selfishness and am dying to myself for Jesus just as He sacrificed his life for me.

Though I am sometimes sad because we live too far apart for them to come over for dinner or to drive home for the weekend, I have also been blessed in ways that I wouldn’t have been if they lived close by. For example, if they were closer, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to spend a week at a time in their home. I wouldn’t see in great detail what a wonderful wife Cassie is to my son and how hard she works making him a good breakfast each morning and packing him such great lunches. My heart wouldn’t have been blessed by overhearing them each morning as Christopher read aloud to Cassie from the Bible, as they discussed the scriptures or as they prayed each morning for their students and their schools. If they lived close by, I would probably use my vacation days for more selfish reasons rather than being compelled to volunteer in their classrooms. I wouldn’t have been able to see first-hand how they have found creative ways to make learning fun. I wouldn’t see the huge impact that they are making in their students’ lives and how much their students love them. I wouldn’t truly know that they give so much of themselves to their students all day long and then come home to fix dinner, take care of the household chores and still find time to make lesson plans, gather supplies and spend hours preparing for special activities for their students.

God has answered many of this momma’s prayers. Though He moved Christopher and Cassie far away to a place they weren’t familiar with, He ensured it was a place with a wonderful church where they can worship, grow and serve. He immediately led them to a solid life group and put Godly friends in their lives. He has moved them outside their comfort zone, but because of that, they are learning to depend on each other and most of all to depend on God. He has helped them to keep Jesus at the center of their lives and to find their purpose in him.

Though it does hurt that I can’t always be the one to help them like I wish I could, it has also been good to visit and meet the people who God has provided to do those things when I am unable. It is reassuring to see that there are caring people who have become part of their lives so quickly. God is taking care of them and building a support system for them.

In addition to answering my prayers, God is also teaching and maturing me through this experience. I really, really do not like to fly on airplanes, but God is pushing me out of my comfort zone and teaching me to trust him to keep me from falling. He is challenging me to surrender my plans for his. He is teaching my selfish heart that when I trust him enough to let go, He gives me freedom and blesses me in ways bigger than I could have asked or imagined.

Yes, over the past year, Jesus’ words in Matthew 10:37-38 have become very real to me. “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” Thank you, Jesus, for challenging us, for taking us outside of our comfort zones, for strengthening our faith, for teaching us to trust, for giving us the chance to let go and for helping us find our purpose in you. Thank you, Jesus, for surrendering to the Father’s will and taking up your cross so that we can do the same. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to find freedom in loving you more.

Do You Love Me More? Part 1

Posted on by Paula

On the afternoon of April 26th, Christopher called and excitedly asked if I had prayed for him that day. I told him of course I had; I pray for him every day. Christopher said that he had attended a job fair that day. Five schools had offered him second interviews. There was talk of loan forgiveness, and one school was even supportive of his dream to start a ukulele club for the students.

His news was interesting because that morning, I had been compelled to pray something I had never prayed for him. I prayed specifically that God would help Christopher & Cassie find good jobs with loan forgiveness. I also prayed that though I really wanted them to stay close to home, God would lead them where they need to be and would send them where they would find their purpose in Him. Little did I know that being led to pray that prayer was God’s way of preparing my heart for a plan that I was not anticipating.

Later that afternoon, Christopher got a call from a school in Florida. They had been interviewing in another town and asked if he could meet them halfway that night for an interview. When he told them that his wife, Cassie, was looking for a teaching job, they told him to bring her along too. They traveled in dress clothes to a Steak and Shake that night wondering if it was a joke. They were both interviewed and offered jobs on the spot. Christopher told me they were 98% sure they didn’t want to move that far away, but I had a sick feeling deep down inside.

Less than two weeks later, Christopher sent me a text, “So my host teacher at Honey Creek is moving and said that she told the principal that I should get this teaching position. Please pray! This would be the ideal position for me! Middle school band with lots of resources!” Maybe I had been wrong, and God wasn’t really calling them so far away! Maybe it was just a test like Abraham and Isaac, and if I was willing to sacrifice my son, God would step in the last minute and let him stay.

However, when I called Christopher that evening, they were starting to lean towards the job in Florida. It was partially because of the out-of-the-blue way the job offer had popped up. But there were other reasons as well. A wall at Christopher’s future school had a mural with one of his favorite quotes, “Be the change that you wish you could see in the world.” Cassie’s future assistant principal called to say that he was praying for her and encouraged her & Christopher to pray as well. Another teacher told her that it was a real mission field down there. A devotional that Cassie subscribes to talked about not being afraid to go where God sends you. Their pastor preached on how God tends to send their church people who they then send out. Similar messages were popping up everywhere.

I couldn’t tell them that I didn’t want them to go; the decision needed to be theirs. I did tell Christopher that he can’t let fear get in his way and that he and Cassie would be happiest if they were where God wanted them and where they’d find their purpose in Him. It was so difficult for me to say those words, but I knew they were the truth.

On May 28, 2016, Christopher told me that he & Cassie were moving to Florida in less than a month. I’d like to say that my reaction was wonderful and encouraging, but out of my selfishness, I grieved. It took a good three days before I could pull myself together and at least a week before I could keep from crying when I thought about them moving. I grieved because I had looked forward to watching him direct at all of his concerts. I had plans to help them when they had babies, to babysit for them and to attend all of my grandchildren’s events. I wouldn’t be able to help out if they were sick or had an emergency. We wouldn’t be able to spend every birthday and holiday together. One of the silliest things that made me cry was knowing that someone else would be cutting Christopher’s hair.

I was so proud of Christopher and Cassie for listening to God’s voice and obeying what He asked them to do. Sincerely, what more could a mom want than for her son to grow into a man that is seeking God’s will? I loved raising Christopher, but he is not mine. He is God’s. He is a Godly man who found a Godly woman. Cassie is beautiful inside and out. I had no doubt that together they would find their purpose in God and make a difference of kingdom value in many lives. Still, I did grieve. I hated my selfish feelings and emotions, but they were out of my control.

This is the time in my life that Jesus’ words in Matthew 10:37-38 became very real to me.

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”

Christopher and Cassie were given the decision of whether they would move more than 1000 miles away from their parents and family and all that was familiar to a place where they didn’t know anyone and had never been. They were just starting out and would have no support system in Florida. The comfortable thing to do would have been for Christopher to pursue the dream job in the school he had been student teaching at an hour from home, but Christopher and Cassie love Jesus more. They knew Jesus was calling, and they took up their cross and followed Him.

I too had a decision to make. I could continue to grieve. I could throw a fit and try to keep them here for my selfish reasons. I could lay on a guilt trip and try to get my way, or I could surrender. Did I want to keep them here so that I could continue to enjoy life with them and my future grandchildren or did I want them to go where God called? I knew Jesus was calling me to surrender my plans with my son to Him. I took up my cross to follow Him.

The Love that Changed My Life

Posted on by Paula

As I watched “The Passion of the Christ” with my high school students on Good Friday, I was hit pretty hard. I watched with a heart that broke as Jesus was mocked, spit upon and beaten. I could barely hold back my tears as I saw his flesh cut into and torn as he was whipped. I was deeply convicted as the nails were hammered into his hands. He was innocent; he didn’t deserve any cruelty. It was my sin that drove the whips and hammer, but it was his obedience and love that compelled him to suffer and willingly give his life to take away that sin. His suffering and death paid the price for every single one of my sins, every single one of your sins and every single sin that has ever been or ever will be committed.

When my husband and I got married, our minister gave us a poster with “the love passage” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). It was the first thing I saw when I got out of bed each morning and that last thing I saw as I laid down to sleep each night. Sadly, I didn’t really understand the fullness of the message that is so often read to brides and grooms. The tragic thing is that when I read the beautiful words, the only things that came to my mind were the ways I thought my husband wasn’t loving me. I would get upset because I didn’t feel like I was being loved the way I was supposed to.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, painted by my daughter Jessica, now hangs on my office wall to remind me to love with the perfect love of Jesus.

One day, I was reading through the verses, having a pretty good pity party and pointing out to God the ways that my husband wasn’t loving me. That’s when God gently pointed out to me that I wasn’t living up to that passage. I had never questioned my love for my husband. I thought I was doing a great job. That day, however, God opened my eyes to see that I was definitely keeping “a record of wrong” and I was also “self-seeking.” Furthermore, when I didn’t think my husband was treating me right, I would retaliate. When the Holy Spirit convicted me, those words I had read over and over became life-changing to me. I finally realized that the great “love passage” not written to tell me how I should be loved; those words were written to tell me how I should love.

The love described in 1 Corinthians 13 is the same love manifested when Jesus died on the cross for my sin. It is a love that isn’t dependent on whether or not the recipient is lovable or worthy. It is a selfless love that comes from our obedience to God’s commands. Some of Jesus’ last words to his disciples before dying on the cross were, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12-13).

I am to love with the love of Christ regardless of how I am being loved. Learning this truth has made a huge difference in my life. Just as Jesus laid down his life for me, I too am to lay down my life. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

I am ever thankful for a God who loved me enough to die for me. I am thankful that when I gave my life to him, he sent his Spirit to live in me. I am thankful that his Spirit enables me to love others with the same love in which he loves me. I am ever thankful to know and experience his love which is the greatest most perfect love there is. I am thankful that my life is forever changed because of him.