I sifted through the photos, and my daughter used them to make decorations. One of the photos I came across was a precious picture of Mom and Dad dancing when Mom was crowned homecoming queen. Jessica captioned it with, “Dance like no one is watching; it’s just you and me.” That’s how it started—just the two of them, probably not realizing that they were being watched by those around them. Over the years, however, they were making an impact. Mom and Dad showed me and many others what true love is.
The homecoming queen graduated and got married. Her husband was drafted into the army, and then he left for boot camp. He was allowed a short trip home when his first daughter (That would be me!) was born. Then he was sent to Vietnam. It must have been hard on the young couple to be separated, especially with a new baby. They weathered the storm by exchanging letters and photos and praying a lot of prayers as God took care of them until Dad’s time of service ended. Within a few years of dad coming home, their family grew to five with two active daughters and a very busy son. Dad worked hard at the car lot while Mom worked hard at home.
Vietnam wasn’t the only difficulty that would arise in their life together. Before Mom was even 30, she lost her own mom to cancer. She took care of Grandma while also trying to take care of three little kids. Mom battled cancer herself 15 years ago, and Dad has spent his share of time in the hospital over the past couple of years. Of course, we three kids and ten grandkids have given them several challenges over the years as well. They have definitely experienced what it meant when they vowed, “for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” While Mom and Dad did what they needed to do to take care of us through whatever life brought, they were teaching us what true love is, whether they realized it or not.
As Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary approached this year, my siblings and I worked together with our spouses and children on planning a celebration. As I worked on decorations and refreshments in the evenings, I thought of the times in my childhood that I’d wake up in the middle of the night to see Mom decorating our birthday cakes. I also remembered how Mom always made sure that we had a special outfit for Easter Sunday and the Christmas programs. There were many times that Mom sat at the sewing machine while everyone else slept. She was up into the wee hours of the morning sometimes, putting the finishing touches on our new clothes that people would always compliment us on when they saw us the next day. I can also remember dad working hard after hours with customers but always coming home to see us over lunch and also finding time to spend his coffee break with us at the Fischer’s Hi-Boy down the road from the car lot. Mom and Dad worked hard, but they always made time for what was important, and we kids felt loved.
Dad and Mom taught us that time was way more important than money. Mom didn’t have a job outside the home to bring in extra income when we were young. Instead, she chose to spend as much time as she could, pouring into her children and home. Because she was home, we always had delicious home-cooked meals and often had fresh baked cookies waiting for us when we got home from school. She always had time to listen and also took time to read to us, help us with homework and play with us. She found time to lead my Girl Scout troop, teach Vacation Bible School and help us learn the importance of serving as she towed us around while she delivered Meals on Wheels to the elderly.
Being a single-income home meant that my parents also had to budget differently than households where both parents worked. They taught us kids to spend our money wisely. Investing in people was more important than investing in things. The memories we made going on our yearly family vacations, trips to fair and visits to the zoo are the happiest of memories. I remember riding the Scrambler with my dad, holding my mom’s hand at the zoo while a balloon with a picture of a chimpanzee was tied around my wrist, riding through the mountains of Tennessee in our 1964 red Rambler and watching the movie from the back seat at the drive inn and eating the popcorn mom had popped, but I couldn’t tell you what brand of blue jeans or tennis shoes I wore. I just know that I always had nice, clean clothes that fit, plenty of food and never lacked for anything. I felt safe and loved. Mom and Dad knew what was the most important.
We kids definitely learned from Mom and Dad that spending time together is important. We always ate our meals together around the table. They taught us to give thanks to God before eating, and then we always talked and laughed as we ate. My sister and I often spent extra quality time sitting together at the table and staring at our cold food if there was broccoli or creamed corn, but that too created some happy memories.
Dad and Mom also taught us patience by their own example. One of dad’s favorite things to do was to fish, and he often took us kids out in the boat. Dad would watch us cast our line and tell us to wait until we felt a fish tug or until we saw our bobber go under. However we would get impatient and reel it back in if we didn’t get a bite right away. Repeatedly casting and reeling our line in of course caused us to lose our bait, and Dad would spend most of his time helping us bait our hooks rather than catching the monster fish he was after. I was also very good at casting my bait into the trees on the bank. Over and over, Dad would troll to the shore to retrieve my hook from the tree. Shortly after, my sister would snag something under the water, and dad would have to help her break free as well. Then someone would whine that they needed to go to the bathroom or ask if they could dangle their feet over the edge. Through it all, Dad remained patient and somehow never lost his temper.
Mom’s patience was tested as well while we kids created messes, got into arguments and complained that we were bored with nothing to do. On top of all the shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning and sewing, she also patiently taught us responsibility. It would have been much faster for Mom to clean up all of our messes and separate us when we fought, but she wanted us to become responsible adults. The simple chores that she started us with such as picking up our toys, doing the dishes or dusting could take us hours as we complained, piddled around or got distracted playing, but Mom would persist in making sure we got it done rather than giving into our whining and doing it for us. She also taught us to work out our differences with each other along the way so that we would understand how to work out our differences with other people. This took a lot more time and patience than simply breaking up our fights and punishing us so that we’d get along. I’m sure there were days that she was so frustrated with our lack of cooperation, but she patiently helped us to grow and mature.
Of all the things that my parents taught us through their example, the most important one was how to follow Jesus. Mom and Dad took us to church every Sunday. Dad was a deacon and Mom volunteered with communion, the ladies’ ministry and the children. Some of my sweetest memories of my dad are the times that I walked in and catch him reading his Bible. My mom taught me the importance of praying and sharing my struggles with the One who could fix it. They taught us right and wrong and set the example themselves of how to live out what we knew in our heads.
Just as we kids were looking to Mom and Dad, others were looking to them as well. Mom and Dad always put others first. They were parents not just to us, but to our friends. Mom got help for one of my friends who was in an abusive home and hugged on my friends who needed it. Dad gave people rides across town and gave money for gasoline, groceries and medicine when people were short on cash. They let people come in to use the phone, listened to their problems, took meals, helped watch others’ kids and helped with repairs. I remember one winter when Dad even gave away his only coat away because someone else didn’t have one.
So, yesterday, when we surprised Mom and Dad with a celebration for their 50th wedding anniversary the was room filled with too many people to count. Still it was only a fraction of the lives they touched over the years. Sadly, we couldn’t invite every single one of their friends and family because we just couldn’t have fit them into the building. So many people told us how special Mom and Dad are and that they wouldn’t miss their celebration for anything. Over their 50 years together, my parents have touched the lives of many, many people, but especially mine. I am so thankful that God blessed me with such wonderful parents, and I am proud to be their daughter. My prayer for them yesterday was that they would feel special and loved as friends and family came to celebrate, and my prayer for them today is that God will continue to bless them in ways bigger than they could ask or imagine. I have truly been blessed with the best parents in the world!
