Whisper Through the Rain

Whisper Through the Rain
Whisper Through the Rain

Once again, I heard the sweet whisper through the rain. I was out driving late one night when the familiar words started playing over the radio, “I was sure by now, God you would have reached down, and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen, and it’s still raining….”

My mind took me back to where I stood listening to the same song at the Casting Crowns concert years ago. Tears streamed down my face as I sang along in the dark crowded room. For the first time ever, I felt compelled to raise my hands in worship as the song continued, “As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, ‘I’m with you.’ And as your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away….”

Raising my hands in worship was something that I was not used to or had ever been comfortable with, as it was not practiced in my church home. However, as I thought about my current storm that had lasted for many, many years, I could so relate as I sang along, “But once again, I say amen, and it’s still raining.”

I desperately wanted the rain to stop, and I didn’t understand why God didn’t “reach down & save the day.” But I had learned through the storm that God was my only hope. He was the only one who could fix it, and through it all, He was whispering, “I’m with you.”

I couldn’t help but raise my hands as my heart surrendered to the fact that in this storm, God was still God. And though I was tired of fighting, I would continue to look to Him and praise Him…even if the storm never ended.

That particular storm finally did calm down for a while, but it still pops up and rages from time-to-time. The thing that God has taught me though, is that He is always with me no matter what is going on in me or around me. I have learned that He is the only One that I can always count on, and that I should never try to let anyone else take His place as my Rock.

I have endured many other storms besides that one. Some were shorter but more intense. I’m sure there will be worse ones yet to come.

God doesn’t promise to keep us free from trouble. In fact, Jesus says in John 16:33, “…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Whatever storm you are going through, I hope that you can quiet your heart and hear God’s gentle whisper through the rain; He is with you, and He is working out his very best.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2).

Here’s a link to Casting Crown’s “Praise You in This Storm.” I hope that you can hear God whispering to your heart and that you can sing along.

Twenty-four Hours is Enough

The clock on my bathroom wall has stopped, and so must my lifestyle. I have finally realized twenty-four hours is enough.
The clock on my bathroom wall has stopped, and so must my lifestyle. I have finally realized twenty-four hours is enough.

Normally, the hour hand on the clock on my bathroom wall travels a full circle twice in twenty-four hours, but it has been motionless for several days. I assume its battery has died, but I haven’t taken time to check.

The clock and I are rarely in agreement anyhow. My idea of twenty-four hours and the clock’s idea of twenty-four hours don’t seem to match, and most of the time, I struggle to keep my life in sync with that hour hand.

The problem is, I try to cram too many things into the twenty-four hours I’m given each day. I’m often late because I think I have time to do “just one more thing” before I walk out the door. I dive in to tackle the task, and the next thing I know, I look at the clock and find that time has gotten away from me. Once again, I am running behind.

I have told my family that I want to be wheeled into my funeral five minutes late because it would be out of character for me to be on time. “Make sure I am wheeled in five minutes late or you will be cursed!” I tease.

I believe, though, that I have finally reached a point in my life that I am too tired to fight the clock anymore. I can’t keep up with the pace I have been going, and my life has gotten pretty messy both inside and out.

Besides the fact that my current lifestyle is a mess, and besides the fact that it’s rude and disrespectful to others when I am late, I have realized another important fact. This way of life I have grown accustomed to isn’t the way God intends for me to live.

God is the Creator who determined that each day consist of twenty-four hours. He is the one who created day and night. He created the sun and moon to mark the seasons, days and years. He saw that it was good.

God also created every cell of our bodies and designed each system to work together perfectly. He gave us a brain to help us reason, eyes so we can see, ears that allow us to hear and muscles that give us strength as we work…. He created food to fuel our bodies with energy, water to keep us hydrated and air so we can breathe.

He created us to be able to work the ground and take care of the earth, but He also created us for rest. He created bodies that get physically worn down, especially when we push ourselves too hard. He created us with a need to sleep.

Our bodies need sleep to restore, rejuvenate and repair itself. When we sleep, our minds and our bodies can rest from all the work and stress that we have put them through all day. This is how God created us, and He saw that it was good, very good.

So, God created day and night to consist of twenty-four hours. God created me to work and sleep during each of those twenty-four hours. Yet, I have felt like I need more than twenty-four hours to accomplish all of my to do list and also find enough time to sleep. It seems that I have been fighting more than just a clock. I have been fighting the Creator and His plan.

The All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Almighty God, Creator of All is perfect. His ways are perfect. If God created my day to be twenty-four hours, then twenty-four hours is enough.

Under the Shadow of His Wings

 

Under the Shadow of His Wings
Under the Shadow of His Wings

My mind is more cluttered than usual right now, and I’m tired. I had tried to write my Monday morning blog this week, but I had too many thoughts to untangle to be able to focus on one subject. I came home to an empty house last night and had the perfect opportunity to focus and write, but my mind was overloaded and my body was tired.

I rested on my bed and stared at the ceiling; it was dirty but the least messy place to look at. I thought about and prayed for the people I know who are hurting. I thought about my busy life and prayed again for answers on how to find better balance. The only answer impressed upon my heart was that I needed to let it all go and rest. As I prayed, I let myself go back to a place I found years ago. Once again, I found myself under the shadow of His wings.

It was July 4, 2007. I was very upset that night. The tears flowed, and I earnestly prayed for God to show me something beautiful.

The vision I saw was so real I could feel it. I found myself standing with a wall of clear, glittery water to my left and another on my right. It was as if God was parting a sea for me. There was at my feet and seashells scattered around me. He even laid a starfish down in my little haven. Rose-like flowers in hues ranging from carnation pink to red-violet carpeted the ground both ahead of me and behind me. They seemed to clear a path for me as I moved. The sky directly above me was the most perfect bright blue summer sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, but there were also sparkly stars mixed in. Behind me, was a night sky with thousands of twinkling stars. Ahead me, was a beautiful sunset (or maybe a sunrise) with pinks, purples, orange and a tinge of yellow. Coming up over both walls of water, He sheltered me with His soft, white wings.

I could feel an unexplainable peace, the most wonderful peace I have ever known as I stood sheltered under the shadow of His wings. To this day, I can still remember how that peace felt and can feel it even now as I think about it.

God knows me intimately; the picture He gave me in my mind was the most perfect place for me. That moment in prayer was one of the most precious moments in my entire life. It was just God and me as He hid me under the shadow of His wings.

I wanted so badly to draw or paint that picture, but it wasn’t until June of 2009 that I tried. For the first time ever, I attempted to paint with watercolor pencils. I had no clue what I was doing. But, as I sat on a balcony overlooking the ocean at Daytona Beach, listened to my praise & worship music, I found painting with God to be very therapeutic.

I remember talking with God about the conch shell. I had no idea how to paint one and didn’t have one to look at. So, I asked God to take my hand & help me paint it. I was pleased with the way it turned out and also pleased with the sky. I had no idea how to paint, night, day and dusk or dawn all in the same picture, but it turned out great! My only disappointment was that His wings did not turn out white like I had pictured them; I just didn’t know how to use those pencils.

My first attempt at painting where I stood "Under the Shadow of His Wings."
My first attempt at painting where I stood “Under the Shadow of His Wings” (Watercolor Pencils on Paper)

Over a year later, on November 22, 2010. I decided to paint “Under the Shadow of His Wings” on canvas with acrylics. I need to sort some things out with God. So, I sat in my little sanctuary on my sunporch and prayed, asking Him to cleanse me and purify me and help me surrender all to Him and live a life that glorifies Him.

As I prayed, I was led to first paint words that named all the things that were troubling me. I didn’t realize how much was on my heart until the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to it all. I filled the entire canvas. I recorded all of those troubles in my journal while the paint was drying. I wanted to go back later to see all the things that God took care of.

Next, it was time to bury all of those problems under the shadow of His wings. Worship music played in the background as again, I asked God to take my hand and help me paint the beautiful picture He had given me. I found my time with God to be a time of healing as I painted the beautiful picture over my troubles I had listed.

Before I even finished the painting, God started working on some of the areas that I had written down, and today as I read over those 34 struggles I recorded, I am wowed. After giving those things to God, He has been working on every single one of them. In fact, He has totally taken care of most of those problems. For the few areas of trouble that linger, He continues to walk beside me and teach me how to persevere. He is an amazing God!

Under the Shadow of His Wings
My 2nd painting of “Under the Shadow of His Wings” (Acrylic on Canvas)

On July 8, 2013 I was walking and praying along the ocean shore again. I was going through a very difficult season of life with new challenges and struggles. It was a beautiful day, and I had never seen the water so clear. It was so clear that in the distance that from the shore, I could see a sand dollar 2 ½- 3 feet down below the surface.

The waves were huge, and as I was marveling about how tall they were, I noticed I could see inside the waves. The way the late afternoon sun shined through the waves was absolutely beautiful! I stood there mesmerized for the longest time.

Then it hit me; the glittery waves and their transparency looked like what I saw in the picture God gave me on July 4, six years earlier. It was like I had stepped back and could see myself again in that beautiful place. The waves in front of me were not as tall as me, whereas in the picture they tower way above me. But the beautiful, transparent color was so familiar, so peaceful like the place He gave me “Under the Shadow of His Wings.”

The glittery waves and their transparency looked like what I saw in the picture God gave me on July 4, six years earlier as I stood under the shadow of His wings.
The glittery waves and their transparency looked like what I saw in the picture God gave me on July 4, six years earlier as I stood under the shadow of His wings.

I woke up this morning, and my thoughts are still cluttered. There are still problems to be solved. However, I am at peace after resting in His presence.

I am thankful for a loving God who has all the answers and knows exactly when and how to take care of everything that clutters my mind. I am grateful for His patience, His mercy and His grace. I am overwhelmed by the peace that He gives me when He hides me under the shadow of His wings.

Conquering My Fears

Conquering My Fears in the Atlantic Ocean
I tried to smile as I tried conquering my fears. Jessica is did a better job than I.

Although the ocean is my favorite place, I never venture out very far into the water and I definitely don’t swim in it. So, when my husband, Sam, planned a snorkeling excursion for our family this summer, I was not even close to being as enthusiastic as everyone else.

First of all, I do not go out in public without my makeup. Second, I am not a good swimmer. Third, I know the sharks are out there. I would be facing a lot of fears.

Sure, I know that God is with me wherever I go. Yes, I believe that if I die, God will take me to heaven. However, drowning or getting killed by a shark is not the way that I want to get there.

I didn’t like the looks of the catamaran that we boarded. I listened intently to the crewman who explained snorkeling to us while we sailed out seven miles from shore (much too far out for my comfort level). The boat violently rocked back and forth over huge waves, and I battled to keep my balance as I moved to a spot where I could better see the crewman demonstrate exactly how the gear was to be used.

As the crewman gave instructions, I realized that this would be even worse than I had imagined. I had pictured walking around in calm, waist deep water and sticking my face in the water if I wanted to see anything. Instead, I was horrified to learn that the ship would anchor in water far too deep to touch bottom.

The crewman further explained that the water was unusually rough that day, and we WOULD get water into our snorkels due to high waves. I feared we would choke.

Then, there was the life jacket problem. There were not enough regular life jackets; some people would have to use inflatable vests. I did not feel safe when I was given the inflatable vest. I blew it up as full as I could, but I was scared that I would bump the tube and deflate it.

Furthermore, the snorkels we used were just sitting in a trough of “sanitizer” which really looked, smelled and tasted like regular water. This was another horror for a person who can’t even share her straw with her husband.

When the boat was anchored, we were given a choice of jumping off the side or walking down stairs that were dropped into the water. It took me a long time to get the courage to start down the stairs.

The rough water made going up or down the stairs difficult.
The rough water made going up or down the stairs difficult.

My anxiety heightened with my first step into the water. Even though Sam promised to stay by my side, I began to panic as we swam away from the boat. Flashbacks from the movie “Titanic” raced through my mind. “Jack!”

The waves were high above my head at times, and I couldn’t see the ocean floor. We were in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean! What in the world were we thinking?!

My panic progressed to hysterical crying. Sam asked if I wanted to go back to the boat, but I had to conquer my fear.

Everyone seemed to be doing better than I
Everyone seemed to be doing better than I

My kids tried to calm me. They kept telling me to look down but I was so scared that I couldn’t.

“Mom, there’s a huge conch shell. Look at it!” I finally got brave enough to put my face down for just a couple of seconds.

The picture isn't that clear, but the conch shell looked as huge as a dinner plate.
The picture isn’t that clear, but the conch shell looked as huge as a dinner plate.

The waves continued, and fear had not loosed its tight grip. My daughter, Jessica, kept telling me to look down again. “Mom. You have to look down! There’s a beautiful rainbow fish!”

I had to see it. I mustered up the courage to go facedown again. As I watched it swimming right below me, it turned from its upright position and started swimming sideways to display its beautiful colors. It seemed like it was maneuvering itself to show off just for me.

I'm glad I could see the vibrant pink, purple, blue and yellow rainbow fish. The photo doesn't do it justice, but my memory does.
I’m glad I could see the vibrant pink, purple, blue and yellow rainbow fish. The photo doesn’t do it justice, but my memory does.

I also saw a school of electric blue fish and a school of black fish, but just when I started getting brave, we were called back to the boat. We later heard talk that a shark had been circling our group.

The strong waves made it nearly impossible to climb back up the rocking steps, but I made it back safely with some help.  I felt victorious! I had conquered my fears and had seen some marvelous things that I never would have seen had I not been brave enough to get off the boat.

God had blessed me and taken care of my fears. My family and I excitedly discussed our exhilarating experience and admired God’s beautiful sunset over the ocean as we traveled the seven miles back to the shore.

As I think back on that day, I also think about the time that Jesus sent the disciples on a boat ahead of him while he went to pray alone. Later that night, Jesus saw the disciples straining at the oars and fighting the wind.

Jesus started walking across the water to them, and when they saw Him, they were terrified.

Jesus said to them, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it is you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

So, Peter got out of the boat and began walking on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he began to sink. He called out to Jesus to save him, and immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

Sure, the disciples were scared as the wind and waves raged. They were scared when they saw Jesus on the water. Even Peter who was brave enough to walk on the water started sinking because he got frightened by the wind.

However, if Peter hadn’t mustered up the courage to step out of the boat, he would have never walked on the water with Jesus. He wouldn’t have experienced Jesus reaching out His hand to save him. He would have missed out on a blessing.

We all have fears, whether it is a spider, snake, storm, heights, small spaces, failure, darkness, loneliness, sickness, disease, death…. Whatever fears we must face this week, we must remember that Jesus is with us. We mustn’t let our fears hold us back from experiencing God’s blessings. We are overcomers through Jesus. Whatever our fears, may we say the same as David, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you, Lord” (Psalm 56:3).

Marveling in our exhilarating experience
Marveling in our exhilarating experience

Sam and me watching God's beautiful sunset over the ocean
Sam and me watching God’s beautiful sunset over the ocean

The peaceful sunset after the battle in the water
The peaceful sunset after the battle in the water

When Things Are Out of Control, Look Up

I texted my son, Joshua, and daughter-in-law, Abby, to let them know we were on our way. Joshua called right away. He said that Abby’s grandma who left an hour before us, was stuck on the exit ramp. Apparently, there was a big air show that weekend, and traffic was crazy.

There are really only two possible routes to my son’s apartment. I asked if we should take the alternate route, but he told me he was actually stuck in traffic on that end of town as well. His GPS estimated that it would take him 29 minutes to travel just 1.6 miles to his apartment.

An hour later, we reached our exit. Traffic on the long ramp was backed up all the way back to the interstate. The vehicles on the highway at the end of the ramp were at a standstill.

I jokingly texted Joshua and Abby, “Please tell me that Debbie made it to your apartment.” I was shocked and a bit panicked when they replied that she hadn’t. She was still stuck in traffic.

I was doomed. The apartment was less than two miles away from the exit ramp, but Debbie still hadn’t reached it after an hour. Why had I drunk so much coffee, and why didn’t I ask to stop to use the bathroom before nearing Terre Haute?!

After about 10 minutes of sitting in the same spot, a vehicle from behind passed by us and drove off-road to get back onto the interstate. Others followed shortly after. I suggested to my husband, Sam, that we should do the same, but he replied that it was illegal and dangerous. I knew he was right, but I was desperate.

While waiting, we could see the planes in the distance. Sam was impressed with the loop de loops. The only thing that would impress me at that moment was if my reference point, the big blue and white RV on the highway, would move. I watched it for at least 20 minutes before it even moved a foot.

I have been in a lot of traffic jams, but never have I been stuck in this bad of a mess. After about a half an hour, we made it to the highway below where traffic continued to move slower than a snail’s pace.

At this point, we both needed to use the restroom. We were finally passing restaurants and gas stations, but we didn’t pull off the highway for fear of not being able to get back on.

Meanwhile, the planes flew in close and swooped down over our van at times. Sam was delighted about the “FREE SHOW,” but I was getting pretty cranky about being stuck on the road.

Every so often, he would get so excited that he would slap my arm. “Did you see that?! That was an F-22!” he exclaimed. He was a very happy camper despite being stuck in traffic with a full bladder.

My focus was on not on the brilliant air show; my focus was on not wetting my pants. Every sudden outburst from my overly enthusiastic husband did nothing for me but break my focus. I was not amused.

An hour and a half after exiting the interstate, we finally traveled those last 2 miles. Looking back, I thought about the situation. There was nothing we could have done to change our situation. It was out of our control. Yet I sat in my seat, irritated and freaking out because I needed to use the bathroom, while my husband, despite his discomfort, was happily distracted as he enjoyed watching the planes soar through the sky.

Now this predicament that my husband and I were in was really not that bad. I have been in much worse situations and am sure that I will be in worse ones again.

So, I ask myself, when the real trials and tribulations occur, how do I react? Do I get anxious about the “what ifs”? Do I dwell on my pain and discomfort? Do I get irritable with the people around me? Do I focus on the problem? Or……. Do I look up?

Focusing on my problem when the situation is out of my control does no good whatsoever. However, when I shift my eyes to God, I see how good He is despite my current plight. When I focus on God, I find inner peace no matter how much pain I must endure. When I look up, I am reminded that this life here on earth is temporary and so short compared to eternity. Looking up gives me hope that someday, I will reach my final destination and find relief from every trouble imaginable.

Off Track and Struggling With the Load

Noah had simply gotten carried away pretending he was the little engine who had accidentally gotten off track.
My Little Man and His Trains

I loved watching my youngest son, Noah, play when he was little. One of his favorite things to do was to play with the train set. He spent hours carefully connecting the magnetic cars to the engines and pulling the long trains around the curves and over the hills of our wooden train set. He would often get so caught up in his imagination that he seemed to be in a different world.

I remember doing my housework one day and being frightened by shouts coming from the other end of the hallway. I immediately dropped what I was doing and ran to my toddler’s aid. When I reached Noah’s bedroom doorway, there was my little man reaching over the train table and holding onto Thomas the Tank Engine who was dangling off the top of the mountain. All of the box cars and their freight were in danger of being derailed along with the engine who frantically cried for help. I breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled to myself when I realized that my son was not in danger. He had simply gotten carried away pretending he was the little engine who had accidentally gotten off track.

Lately I’ve been feeling like that little engine. I have recently found myself off track in many different areas. Somehow, I have started pulling too many “boxcars” and I’m beginning to losing steam. I find myself struggling to keep on schedule with my load and feeling like my wheels are spinning as I try to haul too heavy of a load up the mountain.

Thankfully, I have a God who has been holding onto me through my struggling so that I haven’t completely fallen over the edge of the mountain yet. He’s been prompting me to shift my load and watching over me, ready to catch me if I start to derail.

As I seek God’s assistance, I have a feeling that there will be some “freight” that I need to drop off to lighten my load. There will probably be some “boxcars” that I’m going to have to disconnect from. My schedule will surely be changed, and there may be some stops that will no longer be assigned to me.

Whatever changes must be made in my future to help me get back on track, the One who can see the whole “railway system” will help me work things out. I need only keep my eyes on Him, listen for His plan and follow His direction. He knows the right track for me.

A Glimpse of Beauty Through the Darkness

The small glimpse of the sunset that I viewed through the portal reminded me of our tiny glimpse of God and the home he is preparing for us in heaven.
A Glimpse of the Sunset Through the Dark Wall of Clouds that Surrounded It

I couldn’t wait to see what the magnificent Artist would paint. Even more than wanting to enjoy the sunset, I wanted to savor my time with the One who was painting it and to take in his splendor and majesty. I longed to see a glimpse of his beauty through the darkness.

It appeared to be mostly clear that Tuesday evening, but as the sun began to sink, I could see that the wall of clouds was going to block my view. This was the third night on vacation that I had paused to watch the sunset. Sunday turned out too cloudy. It was behind me as we drove back to the rental home on Monday. Now, I was disappointed again, but I remained seated in silence at the end of the dock. Rather than focus on the dark wall that fought to ruin my experience, I decided to watch for any beauty that might shine through. God can still put on a brilliant show when when the clouds hide part of his canvas, and Tuesday night was no exception.

The still water below reflected the light that bounced off of the highest clouds. I began thinking that the water was prettier than the sky until I noticed that there was a small opening through the clouds. Beyond the dark wall, I could see the bright and vivid colors of the setting sun. It looked like a warm and glowing little haven surrounded by darkness.

I was drawn into this window into the heavens and focused in to see what the Master Artist was creating. As I gazed at this tiny portion of the sky, I realized that somewhere on the other side of the wall of clouds blocking my view, someone could see the full view of God’s breathtaking creation.

The small glimpse of the sunset that I viewed through the portal reminded me of our tiny glimpse of God and the home he is preparing for us in heaven. Just as a wall of clouds can sometimes block our view of the sun and the beautiful show of color it adds to the sky as it shines on the clouds, life can sometimes block our view of the Son and his beautiful reflection visible through his creation and his family.

When we take the time to look, we can see our Creator’s brush strokes all around us. We can see his work in the stars, the moon, the sand, the grass, the mountains, the meadows, the rivers, the oceans, the flowers, the trees, the animals and all of his fascinating creations around us. We receive a sample of his goodness, mercy, kindness, love and grace as his Spirit works in and through his children.  We experience a taste of his presence and what life will be like with him in heaven as his Spirit provides for us comfort, peace and joy here on earth.

As long as we live here on earth, there will be trials and tribulations. When the darkness starts closing in, we must watch for the places where the Son is shining through the gloominess and obscurity.  We must look for the Master’s hand in his beautiful creation around us. We must seek his Spirit for joy, comfort and peace. We must wait for his touch that comes both through his Spirit in us and through his children around us. He is with us through the struggles; we only need to shift our focus to him to find a glimpse of beauty through the darkness.

My Heart Breaks

Let me begin by saying that I have been hesitant to “put these words on paper” because I do not have a degree that gives me all of the answers for this battle. I do not profess to know all the answers, and I don’t want to offend anyone who is struggling. Yet when I try to write this week, this is the only thing that is truly on my heart. My mind can’t go anywhere else.

My heart is broken as I learned last week of another acquaintance that took their life. I know so many beautiful people who fight so hard each and every day to get through just one more day, one more night or one more moment. There are currently 19 individuals in my prayers because of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Their ages range from the early teens to the seventies. At least five of them have tried to take their lives, and four of the five have tried multiple times. All of them have had suicidal thoughts, and one of them confided in me that they had a plan.

My heart is broken because each of these people have such great potential. Each one has such an amazing personality. Each one possesses talents that promise a successful life. Each one is a beautiful, loveable creation of God, but they cannot see their beauty, potential or purpose through the darkness that has such a strong grip on their lives.

During my four years in high school, my classmates and I were shocked by the one person who tried to take their life. Today, in our local high schools, suicide attempts are common. My husband and I asked our high school group last week why they think there are so many people who struggle with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts today. Their top three answers were social media, bullying and drugs. Other people I care about have told me some of their depression comes not only from the issues the teens listed by also from hurt, abuse or low self-esteem. Some tell me that there is no explanation at all; they simply hurt to the point of feeling hopeless.

We must always be careful in our actions because we cannot always tell how fragile those around us are. We can never know how deeply someone is hurting or how hard they are fighting just to get through school, work, the grocery store or even a Sunday morning church service. They are all around us wherever we are and though some are easy to recognize, others are able to hide it well. We all have hurts, but for some of us, the darkness is just too overwhelming.

Those who don’t know me well may think that I have it all together and that I am always happy. That is not the truth. In fact, I too have struggled with depression in the past. My doctor even tried me on a low dose of medication for a while. Though I would never consider taking my life, there were times in my life that I wished I didn’t exist or that God would just remove me from this world.

I know most of this was caused by hurts in my life that overtook me. However, the worst bout I ever experienced, came out of the blue. I had just returned from an amazing mission trip where I saw God at work not just around me but doing incredible things in my own life as well. Then out of nowhere, I was swallowed up by darkness, sadness and hopelessness. I cried out to God because that is what I know.

The scariest part about that bout is that in my darkness, I felt like God was so far away. Though I couldn’t sense his presence at all, I continued to seek him. I read my Bible like crazy, I cried and I prayed. It was the darkest, scariest, coldest, loneliest place that I have ever been. The strange thing is that just as the depression fell over me for seemingly no reason at all, it also lifted just as mysteriously. The only thing that I can figure is that God let me experience that (thankfully short) season so that I could have a tiny bit of insight.

If you are a person who is currently suffering from depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts, please don’t lose hope. Your life is precious, though you may not be able to see that through the darkness. I know the battle gets tiresome, but you must keep fighting. I urge you to talk to someone and seek help. You may be convinced that no one cares about you, but I promise there are people who do.

If you really can’t find anyone you know to confide in, call the 24-hour suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or click this link to chat with someone. I also urge you to talk to a doctor to see if you need medication and to let them know if you are on medication that doesn’t seem to be helping or seems to be making matters worse. Call or visit a church and ask to speak with someone on staff, even if you’ve never attended there. They don’t care whether or not you are a member, but they do care about you. Make an appointment with a counselor to see if there are some hurts deep down inside that you need to work through. Cry out to God and look for a glimpse of him to shine through the darkness. I truly believe that sometimes, it takes the help of a doctor and counselor to help, but please include God in your recovery as well. He is the One who offers the most satisfying peace of all. I know this because he is the Hope and Peace that gets me through the toughest of days.

Whether you are someone who is strong at the moment or someone who is struggling, please join me in prayer for all of the broken people around us. Pray that God would overwhelm them with his light so that there is no darkness. Pray for him to break them from any addictions and free them from any mental illness. Pray for them to reach out and get the help they need. Pray for them to find their identity, their confidence, their security and their purpose in Jesus. Pray for God to make their lives mighty testimonies that bring glory to him and will encourage others who are also fighting the darkness.

When the Mountain is Tall

I was excited to help with “Field Day” at the elementary school where my son, Christopher taught. Field Day gave me a chance to see and interact with almost all of the students there. It also gave me a chance to work with some of the local high school football players volunteering to lead groups of children through each activity.

Christopher and I were assigned the inflatable obstacle course. Halfway through the course was a “giant mountain” that the children had to climb. After reaching the top, they would slide down the other side.

The football players stood at the beginning of the inflatable to tell the students when they could start through the course. Christopher stood outside the middle to supervise the kids as they climbed the mountain. Sometimes I would stand opposite Christopher. Other times I stood at the end of the inflatable to keep the students from falling off the end if they got crazy sliding down.

At one point, I was waiting at the end a really long time, but no one was coming down the slide. I walked around to the side of the mountain to see what was going on. My heart was touched when I saw my son encouraging a little boy and gently helping him climb as the other children cheered.

I was very impressed with the football players. They were serious about their job and did wonderfully with the students. The young men were outside in the hot sun all day long helping group after group. I heard no complaints.

Although all of the players were amazing, there was one who really made an impression on me. He and his partner had already brought a couple of groups through. However, with this particular group of children, I found him up inside the middle of the course before we began. I asked him why he was there. He looked down at me and said, “Well these kids are really little. They’re going to need help making it over this mountain. I don’t think all of them can do it on their own.”

I will never forget one little boy who was really struggling. The high school student was so patient with him and wouldn’t let him give up. He told the little boy where to step and grab, but the little boy just couldn’t reach the top. Finally, the high school student climbed up to the top, grabbed the little boy’s hand and pulled. The little boy was finally at the top of the mountain, but once he was there, he was afraid to slide down. I cheered him on at the bottom and promised to keep him safe, but he was too scared to move. The high school student spoke to him a while, and then together they slid safely to the bottom.

My heart melted once again as this high school student encouraged and aided the younger students. Over and over, he and my son helped the little ones climb the mountain so that they could slide over the top.

That’s how it is in life. Isn’t it? Sometimes the mountain we face seems too tall. Sometimes we lack confidence and need someone to encourage us and cheer us on.  Sometimes we’re too weak and need someone to help lift us up. Sometimes we’re scared and need someone to climb with us. Then there are the times when we are the confident ones. We are the strong ones. We are the courageous ones who can help those who are struggling.

We’re in this together. We must stay attentive to the world around us and be ready to lend a hand to those who are struggling. Likewise, we can’t let ourselves be too ashamed to accept help when we’re in need ourselves. The mountains don’t seem as tall when we help each other climb.

When Troubles Seem They Will Last “4EVER”

The bright orange construction sign grabbed my attention as I approached. The bold lettering was easily read from afar, “ROAD CLOSED.” However, as I drew closer, I could see that someone had added, “4EVER.”

From the looks of the construction site, it appeared that there was still a lot of work to be done before the road could be driven on again. I imagined that the person who added “4EVER” to the sign must have been someone who had driven by time and again, wondering in their frustration when the construction would be complete and when their inconvenience would come to an end. To them, it certainly must have seemed like the road would be closed “4EVER.”

Isn’t that the way life seems sometimes? We can be happily navigating along when suddenly, we find ourselves in a difficult situation that lasts much longer than we had anticipated. As our waiting period grows longer and longer, we start to lose hope that things will ever get better. It seems like the struggle will last “4EVER.”

Are you going through something right now that seems it will never end? Take heart! Wise King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Life consists of times and seasons, and some of those seasons can last for a very long time. Whatever you are going through, remember that God is with you. Turn to him. Pray, search the scriptures, hold on to God’s promises and remember all the wonderful things that he has already done.

When the season continues to drag on, ask yourself a few questions, “Is there anything that God is asking me to do in this current situation? What can I learn from this incident? How can I use my experience to help others who may be struggling as well?”

Our life here on earth is short and though our trying seasons may seem like they will last “4EVER,” they really will come to an end. So while we are here on earth, we hold on to God through these tough times, we allow him to transform us through the experience to be more like Jesus, and we wait for the day when he will take us home where all of our difficulties, all of our suffering and all of our struggling will finally come to an end. Hold on to the hope that one day those who belong to him and have endured to the end will be living in his presence in a perfect place “4EVER.”