My mind is more cluttered than usual right now, and I’m tired. I had tried to write my Monday morning blog this week, but I had too many thoughts to untangle to be able to focus on one subject. I came home to an empty house last night and had the perfect opportunity to focus and write, but my mind was overloaded and my body was tired.
I rested on my bed and stared at the ceiling; it was dirty but the least messy place to look at. I thought about and prayed for the people I know who are hurting. I thought about my busy life and prayed again for answers on how to find better balance. The only answer impressed upon my heart was that I needed to let it all go and rest. As I prayed, I let myself go back to a place I found years ago. Once again, I found myself under the shadow of His wings.
It was July 4, 2007. I was very upset that night. The tears flowed, and I earnestly prayed for God to show me something beautiful.
The vision I saw was so real I could feel it. I found myself standing with a wall of clear, glittery water to my left and another on my right. It was as if God was parting a sea for me. There was at my feet and seashells scattered around me. He even laid a starfish down in my little haven. Rose-like flowers in hues ranging from carnation pink to red-violet carpeted the ground both ahead of me and behind me. They seemed to clear a path for me as I moved. The sky directly above me was the most perfect bright blue summer sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, but there were also sparkly stars mixed in. Behind me, was a night sky with thousands of twinkling stars. Ahead me, was a beautiful sunset (or maybe a sunrise) with pinks, purples, orange and a tinge of yellow. Coming up over both walls of water, He sheltered me with His soft, white wings.
I could feel an unexplainable peace, the most wonderful peace I have ever known as I stood sheltered under the shadow of His wings. To this day, I can still remember how that peace felt and can feel it even now as I think about it.
God knows me intimately; the picture He gave me in my mind was the most perfect place for me. That moment in prayer was one of the most precious moments in my entire life. It was just God and me as He hid me under the shadow of His wings.
I wanted so badly to draw or paint that picture, but it wasn’t until June of 2009 that I tried. For the first time ever, I attempted to paint with watercolor pencils. I had no clue what I was doing. But, as I sat on a balcony overlooking the ocean at Daytona Beach, listened to my praise & worship music, I found painting with God to be very therapeutic.
I remember talking with God about the conch shell. I had no idea how to paint one and didn’t have one to look at. So, I asked God to take my hand & help me paint it. I was pleased with the way it turned out and also pleased with the sky. I had no idea how to paint, night, day and dusk or dawn all in the same picture, but it turned out great! My only disappointment was that His wings did not turn out white like I had pictured them; I just didn’t know how to use those pencils.
Over a year later, on November 22, 2010. I decided to paint “Under the Shadow of His Wings” on canvas with acrylics. I need to sort some things out with God. So, I sat in my little sanctuary on my sunporch and prayed, asking Him to cleanse me and purify me and help me surrender all to Him and live a life that glorifies Him.
As I prayed, I was led to first paint words that named all the things that were troubling me. I didn’t realize how much was on my heart until the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to it all. I filled the entire canvas. I recorded all of those troubles in my journal while the paint was drying. I wanted to go back later to see all the things that God took care of.
Next, it was time to bury all of those problems under the shadow of His wings. Worship music played in the background as again, I asked God to take my hand and help me paint the beautiful picture He had given me. I found my time with God to be a time of healing as I painted the beautiful picture over my troubles I had listed.
Before I even finished the painting, God started working on some of the areas that I had written down, and today as I read over those 34 struggles I recorded, I am wowed. After giving those things to God, He has been working on every single one of them. In fact, He has totally taken care of most of those problems. For the few areas of trouble that linger, He continues to walk beside me and teach me how to persevere. He is an amazing God!
On July 8, 2013 I was walking and praying along the ocean shore again. I was going through a very difficult season of life with new challenges and struggles. It was a beautiful day, and I had never seen the water so clear. It was so clear that in the distance that from the shore, I could see a sand dollar 2 ½- 3 feet down below the surface.
The waves were huge, and as I was marveling about how tall they were, I noticed I could see inside the waves. The way the late afternoon sun shined through the waves was absolutely beautiful! I stood there mesmerized for the longest time.
Then it hit me; the glittery waves and their transparency looked like what I saw in the picture God gave me on July 4, six years earlier. It was like I had stepped back and could see myself again in that beautiful place. The waves in front of me were not as tall as me, whereas in the picture they tower way above me. But the beautiful, transparent color was so familiar, so peaceful like the place He gave me “Under the Shadow of His Wings.”
I woke up this morning, and my thoughts are still cluttered. There are still problems to be solved. However, I am at peace after resting in His presence.
I am thankful for a loving God who has all the answers and knows exactly when and how to take care of everything that clutters my mind. I am grateful for His patience, His mercy and His grace. I am overwhelmed by the peace that He gives me when He hides me under the shadow of His wings.