One Breath at a Time

Gone are the days of the busy signal. The days when we could only receive one call at a time have passed. If someone doesn’t answer the phone, we can send them a text message. On top of that, we have e-mail, video calling and instant messaging. We have reached a point that we expect each other to be available whenever we want an answer. Having so many ways to communicate can be a good thing at times, but it can also become exhausting.

Last night, I put on my faded t-shirt that used to be my son’s band shirt, slipped on my comfy pajama pants that had shrunk into highwaters and eased into my fluffy pink striped socks that didn’t match because that’s just how I felt. Then I did the unthinkable…. I shut off my phone. I didn’t just put it on the charger in the other room. I didn’t just screen my messages. I totally shut it off.

It’s normal to find me holed up in my little sanctuary on the sunporch on Sunday afternoons and evenings. I committed this year to set that time aside each week to reflect on the great things God had done over the past week, to practice spiritual concentration, to journal and to blog. I look forward to this special time with just God and me but often have interruptions causing me to think and to write late into the night or early into the morning. Staying up so late causes me to break another commitment I made this year, the commitment to get more rest.

This is the year that I really set out on a quest for balance in my life. I want to have that rich, satisfying abundant life that Jesus promises through him. I want to be yoked to him, learn from him and find rest for my soul. So when things are out of whack in my life, I have to question myself, “Am I yoked to him?” If my burden is too heavy, that means that I have loaded too much upon myself. For his “yoke is easy” and his “burden is light.”

So here I was, eager for my Sunday afternoon time of reflection of God’s goodness and refreshment for my soul, but the interruptions and distractions started. I slipped onto the porch and journaled for a while and then took a break to eat and talk a little bit with my family. After that, I came back out to the porch, shut the doors, shut off the phone and shut the world out, trashed house and all.

I laid down on the floor to sort things out with God. There were so many things out of my control. I felt a bit discouraged and a bit overwhelmed. My body was drained, and my heart was racing. My mind was cluttered, yet blank at the same time. I longed for God; I longed for rest.

“How did I reach this point again anyway?” I asked my Daddy as I laid at his feet, basking in his love. I had taken on too much again. I had too many thoughts and too much on my to do list. It was time to blog, but I had no words. I thought about going to bed. “Maybe I just won’t write this week,” I thought to myself, but I knew that if I broke my commitment this week, it would be much easier to break the next, just like it was with my eating, my exercising and my rest.

The load was too big. I decided I could either quit in my discouragement or put it completely in God’s hands. I knew deep down that although quitting seemed like the easy way out, it would not lead me to that rich, satisfying, abundant life that I long for.

I made a list, I gave it to God and I set some boundaries for this week. I will have to block off times that I can work undisturbed. Messages can wait until after my morning study and prayer time so that I can focus on listening for God and letting him pour his Spirit into me. Then, I can later pour into others.  I have certain responsibilities that I absolutely must take care of and I need to stay on task in order to do that. I will pray for discernment to tell the difference between God’s appointments and Satan’s distractions.

I will put on the full armor of God, I will prioritize with God and I will take things one breath at a time. I will not stress or panic but will simply let him breathe into me so that I can exhale his love and grace to those around me.

And so I continue to take things one day at a time when possible, but sometimes things must be taken one hour at a time, one minute at a time or one breath at a time. Yes. This might very well be a “one breath at a time” week. And so I say, “Breathe into me, dear Lord. Breathe into me and help me to take life one breath at a time. Help me find balance and rest and abundantly rich and satisfying life in you.”